I know lots of people think that dating in high school is no big deal, but I have a different opinion. There are two ways a relationship can end.
a) Marriage
b) Breakup
Those are really the only options. Either your relationship is going to go on forever, and hopefully end in some sort of commitment, which I believe should be marriage, or you’re going to break up and end in heartbreak. And let’s face it, high school relationships very rarely end in option number one, marriage. After all, what 14 year old is going to think seriously about getting married? So that leaves option number two, breaking up. And breaking up is hard to do! We’ve all seen those people who are so sure their relationship is going to last forever and then when it ends, they’re a wreak. Why would you want to bring that on yourself? Wouldn’t it be easier to just get to know someone without the pressure of a relationship? I realize that people make it seem like being in a relationship is the best thing in the world and if you aren’t dating someone, you’re worthless. But that’s not true! No one needs a girlfriend or boyfriend to make them feel needed. And honestly, if you are at a point in your life where you feel like you NEED a significant other, you probably aren’t ready for a mature relationship.
So let’s move onto another thing that bugs me about teenage dating. The reasons behind it. Here’s how most couples seem to get started nowadays. (At least according to popular culture!) 🙂 First a girl sees a guy she thinks is cute and decides she likes him. Then she starts trying to change her appearance and flirt with said boy to gain his attention. Then said boy asks girl out because he thinks she’s cute. They go to a movie where they sit and stare at a screen while sitting next to each other for 2 hours. That goes well, so they decide to go out again. And then after a week or two, they decide to officially become girlfriend and boyfriend. I’m sorry, what? To me, this doesn’t sound like a good relationship. If your “love” started because of appearances, how long will it last? And let me say this too. On dates, people generally try and act differently to impress the person they like. So that means that the relationship is based off of fake personalities and looks. Sounds legit.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that most high school relationships I’ve seen seem to end badly. And I don’t like seeing people I know get hurt by something that they don’t even need. I mean, I’ve never had a boyfriend in my life, and I’m totally fine. In fact, I’m wonderful! 🙂 I don’t mean to say that no high school relationship will work well, but in general, they just don’t seem like a good idea. I think that lots of stress and pain could be saved if people just got to know each other as people. In groups. As friends. I mean, if you’re in a group of people you can hang out with people, get to know them, and avoid the stress and pressure of being in a relationship. And good friends can make you feel just as special as a relationship could! And who knows, maybe someday one of your friendships could turn into something else, but if it doesn’t, you will have still gained a great friendship. Where’s the downside to that? I know I can’t find one. So why date? 🙂
thoughts 
I’ve always felt too awkward to blog about this topic, but I must agree with you 100%. I see no need for relationships (as friends) to be spoiled if they don’t work out as relationships (as in dating), Let’s face it, most relationships don’t last through high school, right? So that means more likely or not, after a relationship ends both people in question are still going to be in high school together. Despite the fact that many relationships end with the phrase “let’s just be friends”, excuse me for being cynical with the idea that the they will probably still be good friends. So dating, in a way, furthers one relationship (usually for short term) only to the detriment of another (usually long term). And this isn’t even putting into account what you said about heartbreak.
Your second paragraph was liquid gold, just saying. I’m unable to comprehend this term “cute”, but I’m sure it is fairly silly. But if the only reason that you would date someone is because of looks, and the only way you know them is through a fake persona, it’s kind of a waste of time.
I for one think that the way this works with the Marion homeschoolers is quite good (the male portion of the Marion homeschoolers, at least). Most “like” someone (yes, I’m an exception, thank you), but only tell privately a few of the guys. We then do our best to make said person feel as awkward as possible, although we wouldn’t actually say anything (I’m serious when I say I would endure torture before telling anyone who *insert male homeschooler here* likes). It isn’t perfect, but it avoids quite a few of the aforementioned pitfalls.
Also, there is one more reason not to date that you didn’t address (although to tell you the truth, I’m kind of glad you didn’t). Specifically among the non-homeschooled and non-believers, dating can sometimes lead to premature, well, you know…. Bad stuff. All that. Yeah….
In conclusion, this is one of the best posts you have had so far. Good stuff.
I agree with you about the “let’s be friends thing.” Doesn’t really work out that way most of the time! I guess the other thing people have to be careful about is being too into a “dating but not dating” relationship that they don’t pay attention to other friends, or anyone else in their lives. Cause that pretty much defeats the purpose of not dating.
Thanks. Liquid gold sounds like a good thing!
Yeah, MHSAP is kinda a unique environment, but I think it’s pretty great! And don’t worry, I’m not planning on torturing you. Haha.
I thought about covering that “bad stuff,” but I figured it kinda fit into the stress and pressure of a relationship. I also didn’t want you to freak out to much since I thought you might already not like this post. 😛 But apparently you enjoyed it. Good stuff.
Why wouldn’t I like this post? I’m a hermit-to-be, after all. We don’t like dating either.
Actually, this post was kind of inspiration for own for today. Not the subject itself, but talking about more controversial subjects that usually don’t come out in normal conversation.
This is true! I just thought it was a possibility that you would start yelling about girls having cooties or something. 🙂
Sweet! I’m an inspiration. Ok not really, but I’ll take what I can get.
If I do a dance about Science all throughout my hotel hear in the Dells would that provide you any inspiration?
*here. What is with all my spelling errors today?
Yes that would be very inspiring. In fact, I’m feeling inspired wryte knoww.
Tell you what, I’m serious. For the next fifteen minutes I’ll be getting all sorts of weird looks from people here in the hotel. But it won’t seem too weird because I’ve actually been doing it anyway these last few days.
Wow this is a really good one! I totally agree with you 99%! But I do think that some high school relationships work out, as long as the people have gotten to know each other b4 dating 🙂
Swat, that’s fantastic. 😀
And Mark…I agree that it’s possible for high school relationships to work out, and that this isn’t a hard and fast rule, there can be exceptions, but I think in general it’s wiser not to date in high school. 🙂
Update: I still agree with all of this, but mostly only when it deals with other people.
Ohhh, Swat.