a few reflections

It’s been a while since I last posted anything on this blog – about two years actually. In those two years a lot has happened. I’ve realized that life has a tendency to move very quickly, all at once, and with no warning. I’ve realized that often times the mental picture we have of how our life should turn out isn’t anything like how it actually will turn out. I’ve realized that there is a lot of pain and confusion and frustration involved in growing up but that there is room for growth throughout all of it. Last year held some of the darkest moments of my life, and there were times when I felt like I was stuck and unable to get myself out of the messes and mistakes that I had made.  I felt like I had fallen too far from God and there was no going back.

But then I realized just how great the grace that we’ve been given truly is. 

The grace that He’s poured on us so freely and without any expectations of us being able to pay Him back, and the grace that He renews every morning without fail, regardless of the mistakes that I made the day before, the grace that covered all of my sin. 

This overwhelming, wild, unfathomable grace is hard to accept sometimes. It can feel like it needs to be earned or that there must be some kind of catch, but when I realized that it is just a free demonstration of Christ’s love for us, it changed my life. What can I do in response to this love and this grace? I can never deserve it, that’s the mystery of it. I can only accept it and worship and be in awe of the Father who lavished it upon each of us. 

Last year I made it my goal to live with an awareness of the grace that I have been given. I even got a tattoo that said “grace” as a permanent reminder! When I started making a conscious effort to live with this awareness, an interesting this happened. God began to turn my heart towards others and remind me that they had been given the same grace and love. He began to show me that I need to treat others with grace, and treat myself with grace. 

There is room to fail in Christ. I’ve failed a lot over these past couple years. I’ve failed classes, relationships, jobs, and so many other different areas of life. But the beauty of the gospel is that it’s okay. God loves you regardless of what you do or how much money you make or what you look like or who you’ve hurt or how much you’re hurting. He is with you and loves you constantly, passionately, endlessly.

There is grace for you. There is grace for me.  He is forever faithful.